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in which we live in interesting times
Nov. 3rd, 2003 01:19 pmall sorts of things happening around the place at the moment. the pride parade, and associated events, was good. em, alison and i marched the whole way with fixed grins stretched so wide our cheeks hurt - it felt so incredible to have so many people there, all waving and smiling and generally being supportive.
it was also great that so many of our friends were there in the crowd - and although we didn't see julian's lot (annabel, simon, snick, etc...) julian ran along the back of the crowd to wave to us and for some reason that made me incredibly happy.
i won't go on about it all too much, or the post-pride events (which mostly just involved drinking and silliness on our porch), but em's written about them on her page, and she's also put up photos from the night.
so, there was all the pride-related excitement, plus also the excitement of gradual additions to our household group of friends (meghan, richard, alison, simon - who is lovely in a grumpy kind of way, and an unnamed lemon).
people hung around for quite a while in the morning - more drinking on the porch, watching tv, general summer holiday mode.
alison and nate and i tidied up the house.
and, as you've probably figured out, em got anxious and unhappy, and had to briefly be taken to rph. which we didn't realise until i got a call from j some time after they'd left. at which alison freaked out a little, thinking it was her fault for being friendly with nate. and nate freaked out somewhat thinking that it was his fault.
and i sat them both down and told them both that it wasn't their fault, and then went into tidying mode, and then got some coffee and sat in kyle's room and freaked out myself.
i feel weird writing about this, because i don't want to impinge on em's privacy. but then, she said i could write about other similar things, and i'm trying to stick as much as possible to how i feel so i guess it's ok.
anyway.
i love living with emily, and with nathan. in fact, this is - despite the fact that we're all quite unstable in our ways - one of the most functional households i've been in for a long time. we all care about each other, seem to quite enjoy each others company, and look after each other as much as possible.
and i'm quite aware of all of our problems, and feel like i can handle as much as needs handling.
so i'm not entirely sure why i spent considerable amounts of time crying into my coffee.
even after a considerable period of introspection, i'm still not sure.
part of it, i think, is that i've spent so long emotionally distancing myself from anyone who might be at all emotionally influenced by my actions. and now i'm starting to let down some of my barriers, and that comes as something of a shock to me at times.
anyway. since i know em will read this, message to you:
i love you, and living with you, and i'm so happy that you're around. you make our house so much more beautiful, comfortable, and caring. you are one of the nicest and most giving people i know, and i will always be proud to be your friend.
and to my mother:
its ok. i'm fine. don't panic.
it was also great that so many of our friends were there in the crowd - and although we didn't see julian's lot (annabel, simon, snick, etc...) julian ran along the back of the crowd to wave to us and for some reason that made me incredibly happy.
i won't go on about it all too much, or the post-pride events (which mostly just involved drinking and silliness on our porch), but em's written about them on her page, and she's also put up photos from the night.
so, there was all the pride-related excitement, plus also the excitement of gradual additions to our household group of friends (meghan, richard, alison, simon - who is lovely in a grumpy kind of way, and an unnamed lemon).
people hung around for quite a while in the morning - more drinking on the porch, watching tv, general summer holiday mode.
alison and nate and i tidied up the house.
and, as you've probably figured out, em got anxious and unhappy, and had to briefly be taken to rph. which we didn't realise until i got a call from j some time after they'd left. at which alison freaked out a little, thinking it was her fault for being friendly with nate. and nate freaked out somewhat thinking that it was his fault.
and i sat them both down and told them both that it wasn't their fault, and then went into tidying mode, and then got some coffee and sat in kyle's room and freaked out myself.
i feel weird writing about this, because i don't want to impinge on em's privacy. but then, she said i could write about other similar things, and i'm trying to stick as much as possible to how i feel so i guess it's ok.
anyway.
i love living with emily, and with nathan. in fact, this is - despite the fact that we're all quite unstable in our ways - one of the most functional households i've been in for a long time. we all care about each other, seem to quite enjoy each others company, and look after each other as much as possible.
and i'm quite aware of all of our problems, and feel like i can handle as much as needs handling.
so i'm not entirely sure why i spent considerable amounts of time crying into my coffee.
even after a considerable period of introspection, i'm still not sure.
part of it, i think, is that i've spent so long emotionally distancing myself from anyone who might be at all emotionally influenced by my actions. and now i'm starting to let down some of my barriers, and that comes as something of a shock to me at times.
anyway. since i know em will read this, message to you:
i love you, and living with you, and i'm so happy that you're around. you make our house so much more beautiful, comfortable, and caring. you are one of the nicest and most giving people i know, and i will always be proud to be your friend.
and to my mother:
its ok. i'm fine. don't panic.