argh

[rhyll]

* Somehow got confused, thought this morning's tutorial was at 12 instead of 10. Realised at 10:15, went belting down the stairs from my office to class. I feel very very bad about it. Tried to make it up in various ways, including by posting some questions on WebCT. Ergh.
* Thesis is crawling along. No idea if I'll manage to finish two chapters by the 13th.
* Feeling increasingly dissatisfied with the paper I presented at the ISTR conference. I should probably just stop thinking about it. Depressing.
* Pluses: working on my teaching application. Might get to do around three lectures next semester, on stuff that actually interests me. Banging on about transnational social movements, hacktivism, new media, &tc. Might also get to run a workshop and do some curriculum development, including planning one or two online activities. I probably won't get the internship itself, the general consensus being that I have too much teaching experience already, but my head of department says I could probably do most of the stuff anyway - it would just mean missing out on the "professional development" course thingummy. Which I'd be fine with. Only problem is that I'm feeling a little shaky on my ability to do all these things well. Very nervous about doing a bad job on them all.

My academic self is feeling rather delicate. Much of me wants to stop uni for a while and do something else. I don't feel very competent. Still, hopefully as I get more applications and writing out of the way in the next few weeks I'll pull myself together a bit.

I guess the cycling and lack of sleep are probably contributing a bit to how worn out I'm feeling. I've been feeling like the walking dead the last few evenings, not able to do much of anything productive in the evenings. No greek, none of the letters I've been meaning to write, very little marking, no fiction written. At least I've got more done on the blanket I'm crocheting for my work-friend's baby. I'm still not sure about the colours (too pastel for my liking), but I'm glad I'm making her something. If I'm feeling incredibly inspired I may get around to making a small book/story to accompany it.

I really do need to stop being such a sook and get on with things.

Comments

[alexmoon.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's always good to know that I'm not the only one that does these things. I've been trying to remind myself that it has to happen now and then, but I still feel pretty bad.

I think today I'll get on with fretting about other things, though.

[boxer-the-horse.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, yeah I'll share as well - last week someone turned up for a meeting... which was what made me remember I had the meeting.