Some more disturbing aspects of India
Feb. 21st, 2006 08:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rhyllI mentioned yesterday that I would talk a bit about the more disturbing things I've come across here.
As I mentioned, when we went to the movies yesterday, there were men everywhere. And they all stare quite openly. While I've never felt physically threatened, I often feel quite uncomfortable with the way men look at me, and the fact that they fairly often come up and tell me that I'm beautiful or ask if I want "friendship". Unpleasant as it is, I'm still very aware of how much freedom I have compared to Jyothi and other women in her position.
For a start, she has to wear a sari, and while they're beautiful they can be quite constricting - physically and socially (she's not comfortable going out to certain places because the sari would look out of place). While Raj's sister, Sumitra, can wear jeans because her husband's family are more liberal, Jyothi and Raj get told off if Jyothi walks around the park with her head uncovered. More importantly, though, she had no say in who she married, divorce would be incredibly difficult, and she can't read or speak English, which cuts down her choices a lot. While as far as I can tell Raj and her love each other a lot, and Raj treats her well, that's almost entirely a matter of luck.
This becomes even more obvious when Raj tells me that almost all of his friend visit prostitutes and have affairs regularly, and that most of Jyothi's friends are subjected to domestic violence as a matter of course. Most women in Jyothi's position (including Jyothi) can't check up on their husbands - men can message their girlfriends or even talk to them on the phone, because their wives can't understand. Men also have much more freedom to travel around than women. Even with Raj, who clearly loves his wife very much, it seems like he doesn't necessarily have a lot of respect for her, and he's not willing to fight his family to give her more freedom.
At least he's not putting her at risk by sleeping with other women, though. Given the high incidence of AIDS in India, I am so scared for the wives of these men. And worst is that they can do so little about it.
So, despite all the women getting into IT and BT and other assorted sciences, I'm guessing that life still really sucks for the majority of women here. Maybe it's ok if you're in the middle/upper-middle class, but below that it seems like your abilities to make your own choices about life are incredibly limited.
Hmm. This is no fun to write about, so I'll leave it there.
And now, my equivalent of BoingBoing's unicorn filler, some more random things:
* Apparently, scientists have been reading Kim Stanley Robinson again. (Yes, I know he didn't come up with the idea himself.)
* This combination of Gandhian ideas and Fuller's technology seems somewhat nifty, although I don't really like the writing style.
* Today I saw a man walk past a urinating cow and put his hand into the stream, using it to anoint his head.
* One the bus there was a woman with her incisors protruding from her mouth like fangs. Next to her was a small boy with dark colouring but incredibly blue eyes.
* I read a story in the paper about foreigners buying bicycles here and sending them back home. I would do it if I could work out how - I love how solid and old-fashioned Indian bicycles look.
* I wish students at UWA would do something like this. I feel like throwing stones every time I walk past the Motorola building.
* Further proof that Liz and I are right about wildlife.
Also, Lynn: I tried to reply your email, but your quota has been exceeded.
As I mentioned, when we went to the movies yesterday, there were men everywhere. And they all stare quite openly. While I've never felt physically threatened, I often feel quite uncomfortable with the way men look at me, and the fact that they fairly often come up and tell me that I'm beautiful or ask if I want "friendship". Unpleasant as it is, I'm still very aware of how much freedom I have compared to Jyothi and other women in her position.
For a start, she has to wear a sari, and while they're beautiful they can be quite constricting - physically and socially (she's not comfortable going out to certain places because the sari would look out of place). While Raj's sister, Sumitra, can wear jeans because her husband's family are more liberal, Jyothi and Raj get told off if Jyothi walks around the park with her head uncovered. More importantly, though, she had no say in who she married, divorce would be incredibly difficult, and she can't read or speak English, which cuts down her choices a lot. While as far as I can tell Raj and her love each other a lot, and Raj treats her well, that's almost entirely a matter of luck.
This becomes even more obvious when Raj tells me that almost all of his friend visit prostitutes and have affairs regularly, and that most of Jyothi's friends are subjected to domestic violence as a matter of course. Most women in Jyothi's position (including Jyothi) can't check up on their husbands - men can message their girlfriends or even talk to them on the phone, because their wives can't understand. Men also have much more freedom to travel around than women. Even with Raj, who clearly loves his wife very much, it seems like he doesn't necessarily have a lot of respect for her, and he's not willing to fight his family to give her more freedom.
At least he's not putting her at risk by sleeping with other women, though. Given the high incidence of AIDS in India, I am so scared for the wives of these men. And worst is that they can do so little about it.
So, despite all the women getting into IT and BT and other assorted sciences, I'm guessing that life still really sucks for the majority of women here. Maybe it's ok if you're in the middle/upper-middle class, but below that it seems like your abilities to make your own choices about life are incredibly limited.
Hmm. This is no fun to write about, so I'll leave it there.
And now, my equivalent of BoingBoing's unicorn filler, some more random things:
* Apparently, scientists have been reading Kim Stanley Robinson again. (Yes, I know he didn't come up with the idea himself.)
* This combination of Gandhian ideas and Fuller's technology seems somewhat nifty, although I don't really like the writing style.
* Today I saw a man walk past a urinating cow and put his hand into the stream, using it to anoint his head.
* One the bus there was a woman with her incisors protruding from her mouth like fangs. Next to her was a small boy with dark colouring but incredibly blue eyes.
* I read a story in the paper about foreigners buying bicycles here and sending them back home. I would do it if I could work out how - I love how solid and old-fashioned Indian bicycles look.
* I wish students at UWA would do something like this. I feel like throwing stones every time I walk past the Motorola building.
* Further proof that Liz and I are right about wildlife.
Also, Lynn: I tried to reply your email, but your quota has been exceeded.