i should be sadder (very livejournally entry)

[rhyll]

i feel strange around him a lot of the time. and it's a little more disturbing than heart-pangs. and, as usual, he keeps forgetting (really? how can you just 'forget'?) to call me and doesn't make efforts to do things differently in order to spend time with me. and i'd like to say it's due to our 'new relationship status', but it's just more of the same old stuff.

and, somehow, i just don't give a fuck anymore. because i've cried about him enough times, and if he wants us to be close he's going to have to put the effort in.

and i should be sadder about it, but i'm not because there's all new fun in my life.

i love capoeira, despite the pain and the pep talks and still falling over a lot of the time.

and i saw emily the other day, and it made me happy. (as did her cat.)

and i'm going to get a siamese fighting fish, in a vase, and i can't wait. but only once i save all my potplants that are drowning in the rain. it feels wrong to have too many things at risk under my care at once.

and last night i went to swing-dance classes! whoot! i've been talking about it for so long and then mr wolf found out where to go and told me to get my dancing shoes! and he loved it, possibly even more than i did! (actually the class was a little slow, but still a nice atmosphere and good fun.)

ok. now i will stop babbling, and go do work. for some reason it seems like propitious weather for study.