ohmy

i leave for pakistan tomorrow morning and i am all wiped out with emotion after the day with raj, jyothi and sumitra, and less sleep than is healthy for the last few days. missing. missing in anticipation. jyothi and sumitra spent about three hours making beautiful mehendi patterns on my arms and hands, and i cried as i picked off the dye later on. hitallatonce realising how important the family has become to me, and that i will not see them for a long time if at all. the same pre-india feeling for pakistan. what am i doing and where am i going? so nice to spend the day today being looked after. spoilt but still feeling like part of the family instead of a strange and novel guest, as i so often feel here. i cried while they did mehendi, not able to wipe away the tears because my hands were being held. raj bought us all chocolates. jyothi and i were both crying when i left the house. salty kisses to each others' cheeks, hugging without my hands because of the mehendi. sumitra, jyothi and raj's mother gave me a sari, petticoat, blouse, bindis, bindi-purse, and jewellry - complete indian woman dressups. raj helped me pack and came with me to suresh's place, where i am staying until i get a lift tomorrow morning.


overwrought, but i'll be better once i get some sleep.