interesting times

i am sad in a background kind of way. it's odd, when you've been with someone so long, and just about everything around you has some connection to them. furniture we put up together, a pen i got for my birthday, places we went together.

it's good, though, in a way. because i don't want to just erase him from my life this time. i want to hang on to all the good things i remember, because there's so much that has been special to me.

*sigh*

luckily there's enough to distract me this time that i'm not getting crushed by it. i spoke to jie and bruce for a while yesterday and ended up running down the politics corridor making delight-squeels because:
* i'm the first in the department to get an APA in a couple of years (i feel special, even though i shouldn't really),
* i will get a 'workspace',
* jie wants me to go to as many conferences as possible,
* i might get students at some point,
and renewed excitement that i get to do my own project, in more or less my own way, and no coursework.

whoot!

plus, excitement at going to brisbane, and making people nice christmas presents, and going to cervantes, and going sailing with dad and kyle.

it feels like everything is changing.

including me.