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wild oscillations
Nov. 30th, 2004 10:06 amso we got back on saturday and it was still all go, cos we went to see a play baka's cousin was in and then from there to garden state. and i really liked garden state, and it was nice to see baka's friends, because i think they're nice boys, but i had a hideous headache. and, being me, i thought...pfft...i can take this, i'm a real man... and ended up throwing up from the pain in the carpark. and then falling asleep crying and making whining noises. (i feel like a sook.)
and got woken up by the sound of glass smashing.
i don't really know what to do. it happened before and i thought maybe i was just misinterpreting things. but i guess not. and i think maybe i should call the police, but i'm worried that if i do they won't be able to do anything and i'll just get someone (the wrong someone) in trouble. and i wanted to talk to the young guy about it, but i haven't seen him around.
today i'm going to call the domestic violence helpline and ask what to do. i think that will be my plan.
hmm.
and sunday i was applying for jobs, and it made me want to cry, and then i started feeling sick so i just came home. and then j called and it was the first time i'd talked to him in about three weeks and i was so upset because i just don't understand how he can justify being in the army - especially now, with another bush term and another howard term, and i just ended up crying and crying. and the worst part is that i do love him, and whichever way this goes its going to wreck me.
luckily yesterday was better, despite centrelink fiascos. i waited two hours in line just to be told that their computers were down and they couldn't do anything for me. blerch.
but then baka made me apply for a whole heap of jobs, and we got the grocery shopping done, and my room is beautiful and clean again so it feels good to be home, and there was capoeira, and nate made tacos for dinner, and the ended with nate and baka and i sitting on my bed chatting.
it was really nice to have a good conversation with nate, and i'm so happy that there's some good stuff happening in his life.
and got woken up by the sound of glass smashing.
i don't really know what to do. it happened before and i thought maybe i was just misinterpreting things. but i guess not. and i think maybe i should call the police, but i'm worried that if i do they won't be able to do anything and i'll just get someone (the wrong someone) in trouble. and i wanted to talk to the young guy about it, but i haven't seen him around.
today i'm going to call the domestic violence helpline and ask what to do. i think that will be my plan.
hmm.
and sunday i was applying for jobs, and it made me want to cry, and then i started feeling sick so i just came home. and then j called and it was the first time i'd talked to him in about three weeks and i was so upset because i just don't understand how he can justify being in the army - especially now, with another bush term and another howard term, and i just ended up crying and crying. and the worst part is that i do love him, and whichever way this goes its going to wreck me.
luckily yesterday was better, despite centrelink fiascos. i waited two hours in line just to be told that their computers were down and they couldn't do anything for me. blerch.
but then baka made me apply for a whole heap of jobs, and we got the grocery shopping done, and my room is beautiful and clean again so it feels good to be home, and there was capoeira, and nate made tacos for dinner, and the ended with nate and baka and i sitting on my bed chatting.
it was really nice to have a good conversation with nate, and i'm so happy that there's some good stuff happening in his life.
