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I've decided to move out of Matlock. Our lease is coming up, and I've realised that I just can't keep up the effort of moving backwards and forwards between Matlock and J's place, trying to make each place feel like home. It's too exhausting.
I'm excited about moving in with J; making a home together, finding out the wonderful (and irritating) things you only find out about if you live with someone, making a space where our friends are welcome and new projects are undertaken. J balances me out and makes me happy, and this feels like a good step to be taking.
At the same time it feels hard, because there's so much about Matlock that I love. I'll miss Sunday breakfasts with everyone around, boofuls helping me play dressups, cooking together and watching crappy movies and long discussions around the kitchen bench. I will miss having lisa and boxer the horse in walking distance, and feeling like their place is just an extension of ours. I'll miss my room, with its windows onto the garden and the sounds of the birds in the morning and the night breezes. And the dinosaurs everywhere, and the loungeroom that we rearranged so many times, and the garden, and the treehouse.
So right now I'm feeling a little fragile and mournful about it all. But I'm trying to remind myself that moving house doesn't mean losing my friends, and think about the positives. I'm also working hard to convince myself that "a trip to IKEA" is not one of the positives.
I'm excited about moving in with J; making a home together, finding out the wonderful (and irritating) things you only find out about if you live with someone, making a space where our friends are welcome and new projects are undertaken. J balances me out and makes me happy, and this feels like a good step to be taking.
At the same time it feels hard, because there's so much about Matlock that I love. I'll miss Sunday breakfasts with everyone around, boofuls helping me play dressups, cooking together and watching crappy movies and long discussions around the kitchen bench. I will miss having lisa and boxer the horse in walking distance, and feeling like their place is just an extension of ours. I'll miss my room, with its windows onto the garden and the sounds of the birds in the morning and the night breezes. And the dinosaurs everywhere, and the loungeroom that we rearranged so many times, and the garden, and the treehouse.
So right now I'm feeling a little fragile and mournful about it all. But I'm trying to remind myself that moving house doesn't mean losing my friends, and think about the positives. I'm also working hard to convince myself that "a trip to IKEA" is not one of the positives.
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on 2009-03-11 08:07 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-03-11 08:29 am (UTC)*hug*
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on 2009-03-11 09:19 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-03-11 10:12 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-03-11 10:44 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-03-11 11:01 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-03-11 10:59 am (UTC)It is sad you're leaving Matlock, but given the situation it's not a bad choice (says he who has moved house at a ratio of around once every 18 months). But it is also obvious that a lot of time and effort and friendship and chickens and indoor voices went into making Matlock a really nice place to be (and I felt that from the first time I came around, really). I hope the move goes well - and I'm sorry I'm not going to be there to help with that, especially considering there's a lot of my junk still there! Unfortunately the day the lease comes up, I remember what Liz told me, is also the day of doom for just about everything else, and so I'll still be over on this side of the country...
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on 2009-03-11 12:14 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-03-11 12:21 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-03-11 11:44 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-03-11 11:46 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-03-11 02:49 pm (UTC)If the other denizens are lease-negotiating, hope it goes smoothly.