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in which our heroine does not feel like much of a heroine
All of last night I dreamt angry dreams, with lots of ineffectual punching in them.
I have been doing more scouting-around, trying to see if there's anywhere I would like to do research next year. It has made me feel like my research has kind of petered out and isn't going anywhere interesting...I don't feel excited about carrying on from here. Hopefully this will pass. It's also made me feel rather small and unimpressive, because I made the mistake of reading some of the Singapore grad students' intros, and they all seem much cooler than me.
I am pretty sure that these problems will be solved when I get back on track with work, but it still feels rather an uphill battle. Lots of time spent staring at my computer, not much time spent achieving anything.
On the plus side, one of the academics in the department called out to me in the office as I was walking past today. I thought it was work, but she just wanted to tell me that I'm beautiful. She said she'd thought that maybe it was that I was wearing a nice top, but she'd thought about it and it was just me. It was rather odd, but quite nice. (I would rather feel clever than pretty, but I'll take what I can get today.)
I have been doing more scouting-around, trying to see if there's anywhere I would like to do research next year. It has made me feel like my research has kind of petered out and isn't going anywhere interesting...I don't feel excited about carrying on from here. Hopefully this will pass. It's also made me feel rather small and unimpressive, because I made the mistake of reading some of the Singapore grad students' intros, and they all seem much cooler than me.
I am pretty sure that these problems will be solved when I get back on track with work, but it still feels rather an uphill battle. Lots of time spent staring at my computer, not much time spent achieving anything.
On the plus side, one of the academics in the department called out to me in the office as I was walking past today. I thought it was work, but she just wanted to tell me that I'm beautiful. She said she'd thought that maybe it was that I was wearing a nice top, but she'd thought about it and it was just me. It was rather odd, but quite nice. (I would rather feel clever than pretty, but I'll take what I can get today.)
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I am enjoying my adventures, on the whole. I'm going back to Kalgoorlie tonight and then after I return on Friday I've only got just over a week before my Overseas Adventure (for which I'm underprepared... eek). But some time in that ten day window I would like to see you :)